so close to reaching 20k for strykers book two. ugh. goal is to reach 85k by the end of december, or at least a few days after the new years. need the first draft done so i can tear it apart and give myself some breathing room when the publisher picks up strykers book one (WHEN not IF; trying to think positively here!).

in other news, going to nyc in april with two friends. will have a side of business one of the days for lunch with my agent (hoshit, an ACTUAL business lunch @_@) but otherwise, LOTS OF PICTURE TAKING FOR ME. research *coughs* yeah.

*shakes book two* omg work with me here. POLITICS, I HATE YOU.

i will be braving the madness of black friday to get a pair of work pants. i've gone down two pant sizes since january and need a pair where it doesn't look like i'm swimming in them >>;

the pants i tried on today are petite, but are still TOO long. i'm gonna have to hem them. i hate being short. the nice thing is i haven't been the size i am now since my senior year of high school. weirdness abounds.

i've never done well with word count goals, but i suddenly find myself in the strange position of writing for a living now, with an agent who expects shit on time (as will the publisher), and i realized HOLY SHIT I'LL HAVE DEADLINES.

crap.

uh...this is me not doing nano, but totally attempting to hit 2k worth of words every day until strykers book 2 is done. if i do that, aiming for, eh, roughly 85k, then i should be done in a month and a half or thereabouts with an EXTREMELY rough first draft.

onwards!

(on a side note, dhaunea will kill me if i don't have some of this ready for her by january)

so, everyone, it's official.

i have signed with my agent :DDDDD

that new lj is going to be my official, professional writerly one. because, uh, i kinda need to keep fandom and rl separate now. i really, really do, which means i'm going to be scrupulous about not having any fandom referenced in the new lj. i will be monitoring comments and such for that reason as well.

this is still going to be my personal lj. which means i may just totally friends lock it, i don't know. i've had it forever and that's a lot of journals to lock.

if you want to follow my further endeavors in writing, the new lj is the best place to do it.

AHAHAHAHAHA I HAVE AN AGENT!

thank you, mr. president, for putting downtown sf on lockdown for anything bigger than a vespa. because i desperately wanted a rerouted bus ride home, thanks.

as much as i love you, i will not be one of the people in the crowd lining the street, as my day has sucked, and i saw you when you were sworn in. inauguration trumps hotel patronage any day.

also, secret service men? not so secret looking.

as promised, here is a picture of the newest member of my tiny little family. after malachite passed away, i was depressed and all, but i am a cat person. i need a cat.

so this past thursday, my friend drove me all the way to the east bay spca in dublin, because i was interested in a long term kitty there who was really pretty. unfortunately our personalities didn't mix and i didn't bring her home, but i did end up bringing home this little guy.

as per the poll (and for my own amusement) his name is bones! even though he really doesn't have any, because when you pick him up, he just FLOPS. like, hey, sup? he loves being petted and carried. he doesn't use his claws when he plays and when we introduced him to our resident cat, firefly, he IMMEDIATELY wanted to play with her. firefly was having none of that until last night, when she was like, okay, you're cool. we can be friends.

pics are kind of large, because i forgot to resize, but isn't my new kitty adorable?

( Read more... )

Poll #1462751 Kitty Name
This poll is closed.
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 12

Because I've always had evil pets and I think he's just biding his time, but seriously, he doesn't have a mean bone in his body and I need help deciding on what to name this fluffball.

as i've never used a poll before, i'm just going to let this run out until i come back tomorrow from the wedding i must go to. where i will be like, the only white person there, lol.

soooooooo i got a new cat!!! omg he looks like my old cat, and that was so unintentional it's not even funny.

anyway, got him from the east bay spca. went there to try and get a long term cat but she didn't like me. saaaaad, but i got him instead.

very dark slate gray, fluffy, yellow eyes, and how wrong is it that i want to name him yellow eyed demon, demon for short? :D

fandom hasn't taken over my life AT ALL.

he's a sweetie. purrs like a motor, wants to eat your hair, when he bats at you, he doesn't use his claws, just an over all chill little dude. will post pictures of him after the madness of this weekend is over.

in short: kitty!!!!!!

so because i've been in a mild bit of depression since my kitty passed away (and i only recently figured out that i was depressed because i want to do JACK. SHIT. and hey, i have no damn clue what it's like to be depressed so i don't really know the signs) i haven't been able to write anything except this one story.

that is total crack.

with valkyrie strippers. and a gay witch. and a camaro with an attitude. their only voice of reason is a dwarf with a collection of trucker hats. and they are on an EPIC ROADTRIP to save damsels in distress.

like i said.

TOTAL. CRACK.

okay. so i'm doing better. honestly.

saturday i did my crying and i said my goodbyes and i dealt, because that's how it is with me. it still hurts, but not as badly as i think it would if the vet hadn't called me back on saturday.

i gave the vet permission to do an autopsy on malachite. i'm so very glad i did. he said that she had the worst case of pancreaitis he'd seen in his entire 20 year career. she had no pancreas; it was necrotic. the surrounding bodily tissue was infected. malachite was dying from the inside out and there was nothing that could have saved her. putting her to sleep was the right and best and only thing that could have been done, is what he told me.

knowing that? knowing that nothing, even if i'd had the money for care, could have saved her? that took away a lot of the 'what-ifs' and left me able to breathe.

so. i did my crying. i'm not a crying person; the one day was all i could manage. now i'm in a state of 'okay, yeah', which is hard to describe other than i am dealing. i am accepting. i am sad, yes. i miss her. i keep looking for her. but i know i did the right thing.

i think i'll get a cat after i get malachite's ashes back.

i'm a cat person. i feel not whole without one.

so i'm back from my vacation which, by itself, was fantastic. i only wish it had ended differntly.

halfway through my roommate calls to tell me that my cat is really sick. she takes her to the vet and malachite stays there until thursday, september 3rd, when she was discharged. she had been diagnosed with severe pancreaitis, diabetes again in conjunction with that, and had lost an alarming amount of weight in a short period of time.

i came home on september 4th. i had to put her to sleep today, because she wasn't getting better and was only getting worse. her system was failing, she was jaundiced, and lethargic. she was thirsty, but too tired to drink, and wouldn't eat anymore. the cost to treat her was too much and there was no guarantee it would help her.

my baby's gone and the worst part is that i wasn't there for most of her suffering, and i couldn't be there to hold her until the end.

i felt her heart stop.

i'm still crying. i think i'm making myself sick with the crying.

god, malachite, i'm gonna miss you so, so much.

GUYS! GUYS!

I GOT TO RUN AROUND STONEHENGE LIKE A FREAK AND TAKE PICTURES AT DAWN THROUGH THE STONES!!!!

I MADE PEOPLE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROPE AND FENCE JEALOUS!!! I FEEL NO REMORSE.

I HAVE PICTURES! OF STONEHENGE! AT DAWN FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE CIRCLE!

FUCK YES!

i feel like flouncing out of the country. CAN I FLOUNCE OUT OF THE COUNTRY?!?!

no, i'm kidding. i won't flounce, but i'm sure as hell probably going to whine when we hit paris. heat and i do not mix. ugh. london, at least, will totally feel like home.

GUYS! GUYS! I LEAVE TODAY FOR TWO WEEKS IN EUROPE!

FUCK YES I'M SO EXCITED. I'M TYPING IN CAPS, I AM THAT EXCITED.

THIS IS STILL MY FACE:

8DDDDDDDDDD

AHAHAHAHA AND GOOD. BYE.

*disassembles laptop and packs the damn thing*

yes. i can't live without the internet. DO NOT JUDGE ME.

OMG I LEAVE ON SUNDAY!!!!

while that's not a musing, it IS a fact :D

today i have merely confirmed that yes, bankruptcy courts really do suck so bad. THEY DO. trust me on this.

am pondering if, within the next year or so, i want to try going back to school to get either a second b.a. in my minor (american indian studies) since the university i went to now offers it as a major, or to attempt an mfa.

on the one hand, i LOVE my heritage and my minor and i'd love to get back into the indian community here. on the other, i'd really liked to work towards a masters in fine art, except. well. grad school in english subjects for writing = fiction. which does not equal genre. which is what i write.

there is like, a high high HIGH probability that i would get resoundly rejected on that front for mfa *sighs* and like, i'd need two recommendation letters. uh...i have no idea who would write one for me. and the costs *groans*

guess we'll see.

spent the past week running around with jen, who was in town from chicago. i ended up eating so much fish and shrimp with her, since she can't get it fresh in chicago.

and bars. have i mentioned the bars? i know, i know, i'm not supposed to be drinking, but i'm a social drinker! so are all my friends.

today was the last day i see jen before she leaves on monday. she's crashing at her other friend's house for the weekend. we did dim sum and then stared at the hideously long line to get into new people, the new jpop center in japan town that's got the baby, the stars shine bright store and some other gothic lolita shit. i dunno, we were like THAT STREET VENDOR HAS CUPCAKES. LET'S GET CUPCAKES.

then we went to kinokuniya and browsed like crazy waiting for our other friends.

think i'll see that store another time.

ONE MORE WEEK UNTIL I LEAVE FOR LONDON!!!!!!

so today i decided, i'm gonna take some of that Lush henna that i bought the other week and dye my hair! yes! it's a long process of actually mixing up the brick with hot water and putting it all through my hair, letting it sit for close to 6 hours. i had nothing to do today, so i thought, brilliant! i'll just lounge.

ha.

fucking HA.

my cat decides to go to the bathroom on the floor and a pillow on the futon. which is totally ATYPICAL of her and the only other time she did that was when she was massively ill with a uti.

guess what? same fucking symptoms.

it's a sunday. my vet is closed. luckily the spca is not and it's only a bus ride away. so i? with henna STILL in my fucking hair, beneath a shower cap, a skull beanie, and my hoodie, with my reflective metallic sunglasses, drags my wannabe chola looking ass out of the apartment to take my cat to the vet.

DID I MENTION I STILL HAD HENNA IN MY HAIR?!?! WITH A SHOWER CAP??!?! AND A BEANIE?! AND A HOODIE?!?!

i felt like one of those 50s housewives, only without the curlers and scarves and shit, man, my cat knows JUST when to get sick. this is expensive and i have my trip in two weeks.

*is still a mixture of worried and utterly pissed off*

in three weeks i? will be in europe.

EUROPE PEOPLE. LONDON. DUBLIN. PARIS. FUCK YES.

god, i don't even remember when the last time i had an ACTUAL long vacation that did not involve visiting family in socal or texas and lasted more than five days. i've had mini vacations to visit friends, but those were all less than a week long. i'm so looking forward to this, it's not even funny.

so, yeah, uh. as i have never BEEN to europe before, anyone have suggestions? our plans are only half full right now and i keep tossing ideas at the other two i'm going with.

also, my co-worker today asked me if i'd lost any weight. this was the face i made:

8DDDD

WHY YES I DID.

rock on. i love the fact that it SHOWS, even though i'm totally a lazy ass when it comes to exercising and it took me like, 7 months to lose 10 lbs I DON'T CARE I FIT INTO SMALLER JEANS. which is kind of a bitch on my wallet.

so i am DONE with clothes shopping now. managed to buy some more shirts that i can wear both on holiday and at work. go me. bought a pair of sandals today, took them home, realized they just aren't working for me. will return them tomorrow.

before i go and see star trek with my roommate. again.

do not judge me *has no shame* you can tell by the fact that i'm listening to a club version of lollipop by lil wayne and mixed by dj money (not gonna lie, i like framing hanley's cover better) and right round by flo rida and ENJOYING them.

yeah. my taste in music has always, ALWAYS been questionable :DDD

i'm following them up by (s)aint by marilyn manson, sweet dreams by beyonce, and remember the name by fort minor

*dives back into her fast driving mix*

going on month three of my medication of death.

am drinking some wine BECAUSE I CAN (even though i'm really, really REALLY not supposed to, but i like to live dangerously, yo). also, because i begged my roommate to let me via text while i was bored as fuck at work.

ALCOHOL. HOW I HAVE MISSED THEE.

i do not miss the dry dry dry OMG DRY skin. or the fact that my lips are peeling off in layers. LAYERS. i have this nice red sheen to my lips.

yeah. that's blood beneath the surface. nice.

medication of death, you never fail to bring the lulz.